St. Mary's is a popular place for weddings. As part of the preparations for the big day, I ask each couple why they are marrying the other person. I'd like to share with you a response from a recent bride. Notice, the heart of her search is the gnawing desire of love we all seek: 

I am marrying Jacob because I love him. He is a holy man of God and I know that he will bring us to heaven and raise up a holy family for Christ. He has a deep love for God and I can see that through everything he does and says. He is so gentle, loving, and kind. He gets along with everyone and cares so deeply about each person he comes in contact with. He is a genuine person. He is so handsome and funny and has such a fun personality. I immediately fell in love with everything about him. He loves me so much and shows his love for me through his words and actions. He cares for my whole being, and for my soul. When I am anxious, he takes me to adoration. He is patient with me when I am stressing about school or work. He just cares so deeply :)

I prayed for my vocation so often. I thought I needed to “figure it out” as soon as possible so I could begin to discern either marriage or religious life. Deep down, I always desired to get married. I desired so deeply to be a mother and raise up a big beautiful family, but I was always open to whatever the Lord wanted for me. When I first met Jacob, I had a feeling that we would get married one day. I just knew. But I was so hesitant and nervous to date him because I didn’t yet discern the religious life and I had thought that I should discern and pray about it more. I knew I wanted to date him, but I didn’t know if the Lord wanted me to. So when he asked me out, I turned him down. I was so heartbroken, I immediately ran to the chapel and cried. I wanted to date him, I wanted to marry him! Why did I turn him down? I prayed about it and asked the Lord what he wanted me to do. I decided to pray a surrender novena and just accept what the Lord was trying to do in my life. I sought advice and spiritual direction during the next 9 days. My spiritual director told me that dating is a form of discernment, which is so true. Through my prayer, I felt like the Lord was calling me to just trust him. It was not a coincidence, it was through God’s providence that Jacob ended up in Vacaville for baseball and was already committed to UMary before I met him. And it was also Divine Providence that led to my decision to stay at UMary after a difficult first year. God was placing Jacob in my life for a reason. I just needed to trust him. After the surrender novena, I talked to Jacob and told him that if he asked me out again, I would say yes. He said he wanted to, but he asked if I wanted to pray a surrender novena before he did! So I prayed a second novena, with Jacob this time! Our first date was on October 1st, the feast day of my patron saint, St. Therese of Lisieux! Everything was just so perfect and it was so clear that God was present throughout our entire relationship and arranging things so beautifully. Through Jacob’s and my relationship, I realized that God places desires on our heart for a reason. He knows our desires and wants to fill our joy abundantly. God is so good and I am so grateful to him every day for everything He has given me. 

I have so many beautiful memories with Jacob. Solely by the grace of God, we were able to go to Rome with the University of Mary together. We experienced the physical beauty of the Catholic Church together and fell more in love with the Lord. In Italy, I prayed so much about my vocation. I surrendered everything to God. We had been dating for 8 months and I was pretty sure I wanted to marry him, but I was still open if the Lord wanted to call me out of the relationship. Our group went to Assisi one weekend and it was such a moving experience! It was so peaceful there! We were both praying in front of the San Damiano crucifix (in separate pews:) This was where St. Francis received his vocation and radically changed his life. So I prayed that if there was ever a better time for the Lord to ask me to be a sister, now was that time. I asked the Lord how He wanted me to serve Him. I felt that the Lord was telling me “Elise, keep loving me how  you are loving me.” I immediately felt so much peace knowing that we were doing the right thing. I feel like it was there that my prayer switched from “Lord, what is my vocation?” to “Lord, how can I live this vocation well?” After that day, I was sure that I was going to marry Jacob.

Another one of my favorite memories with Jacob was our engagement. We were long distance last summer and he flew in and surprised me with the proposal. When he proposed, Jacob told me that he wanted to serve God through loving me and serving me and our future family. He washed my feet as a gesture of his love and service. It was such a beautiful moment!