If we want better lives, happier families, a vibrant parish, and an intense relationship with Jesus Christ, there’s one thing we can do now that will make all the difference in the world: KILL THE PRIDE. Squash it. Strangle it. Our pride is the greatest obstacle in our relationships with one another and especially with the almighty God himself. Pride tells us we are self-sufficient and amazing. It’s all about me and my magnificent wants. Kill it. Kill it now. The Scripture readings at Mass this Sunday all point to this. Below is an excerpt from the 2019 commencement speech from Fr. Robert Spitzer to the graduating class of Christendom College (a faithful Catholic university in Virginia). He tells the freshly minted graduates to stop playing the pride game and start building. Only then, we will finally become who were meant to be:

The culture will tell you that comparative identity is sufficient. That being at the top of your game, achieving much, having great status or power, having great intellect, or other great skills and abilities as a leader, will be sufficient. But it isn’t sufficient. It almost walls out God. You’ll know that it isn’t sufficient the minute you begin to ask these questions neurotically:“Who’s achieving more? Who’s achieving less? Who’s got more power? Who’s got less power? Who’s got more status? Who’s got less status? Who’s more popular? Who’s less popular? Who’s winning? Who’s losing? Who’s more intelligent? Who’s less intelligent? Who’s more athletic, who’s less athletic? Who’s more beautiful? Who’s less beautiful?” 

Yet, this is not the real meaning of life. The Lord has told us the real meaning of life using the word caritas (or agape in Greek). We say that love, or what I would call contribution, is really the purpose of life. And the only way of bringing that comparative identity under control is to shift our intentional focus. Shift the focus to these questions instead: “How will I make an optimal positive difference in this world? How will I make an optimal positive difference to my family? How will I make an optimal positive difference to my friends? How am I going to make—with my time, my skills, my talents, my energy—an optimal positive difference to the Kingdom of God, and to the Church? How will I make an optimal positive difference to the community or to the organizations for whom and with whom I work? How am I going to make an optimal positive difference to the society or to the culture?”

Ask these questions, and then put at the end of it, “For this I came, to make an optimal positive difference to family, to friends, to the Church, to the Kingdom of God, to culture, to the organizations and community in which I live, for whom I work.” Notice how the “better than,” the comparative identity, slips into the background. And when it does, it becomes manageable. No longer have I to worry about achieving more than anybody else. No longer have I to worry about being more popular than anyone else. I’m using my achievements to make an optimal positive difference to family, friends, community, Church, and the Kingdom of God. I don’t have to be smarter than you, as an end in itself. Rather, I focus on using the intellectual talents I have to make an optimal positive difference. When you do this, you will notice decidedly that any emptiness and alienation that you are feeling within yourself suddenly begins to fill up with a sense of God’s presence in your life.