One of the towering figures of the Christian mystical and contemplative tradition is the extraordinary 16th century Spanish nun from Avila, Spain -- St. Teresa of Jesus.  Highly gifted “both naturally and supernaturally”, her extensive writings covers the remarkable struggle of the Christian endeavor toward union with God. “Her writings”, says author Julienne McLean, “reveal a powerful and penetrating honest and intimacy, a complete integrity, an essential pragmatism and compassion, but above all, a deep humanity that have hardly been surpassed in the whole corpus of Christian mystical literature.”

Yet, her walk with Jesus began like it does for many of us. Her attachment to her sins and the allurements of the world acted like anchors chained to her legs, keeping her from breaking through and advancing in her spiritual life.  She struggled in both worlds, with one leg firmly planted in the other. She writes:

"I was living an extremely burdensome life, because in prayer I understood more clearly my faults.  On the one hand God was calling; on the other hand I was following the world.  All the things of God made me happy; those of the world held me bound.  It seems I desired to harmonize these two contraries—so inimical to one another—such as are the spiritual life and sensory joys, pleasure, and pastimes.  In prayer I was having great trouble, for my spirit was not proceeding as lord but as slave.  And so I was not able to shut myself within myself  (which was my whole manner of procedure in prayer); instead, I shut within myself a thousand vanities."

For nearly twenty years, she struggled in her quagmire of vanity. She was careless with regards to sin, especially indulging in useless gossip with people who visited her in the convent. Her attachment to her venial sins and other worldly pleasures kept Teresa from increasing her desire for God.  In many ways she was like the rich man who asked Jesus, “’Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?’” (Luke 18:18) The answer shook the honest and earnest man to the core.  He strove to follow God’s will by keeping the commandments but failed where it mattered the most, namely in his heart.  He simply could not give himself completely over to the Lord. “’How hard it is,” Jesus said, “for those who have wealth to enter the Kingdom of God!” The rich man, like St. Teresa, simply could not let go of the world.

She soon came to appreciate the great importance of a soul detaching itself from worldly affairs to true love of God. It was the master key to restore God as the fierce focus of ones life, otherwise she’d be adrift in the abyss of spiritual mediocrity.